tirsdag 24. mai 2011

The tale of an exam day gone wrong

I woke up today, relaxed and rested, and instantly became terrified at how relaxed and rested I felt. Normally I feel like an absolute wreck every weekday, and I had slept even less than usual last night.
I rose with a panic and lept to the nearest time telling device. With a smug look of evil satisfaction, possibly due to the abuse it has been subjected to over the years, my computer displayed the numbers 11:47. The next bus left at 11:14 and wouldn't even be in the same city as my school until at least 45 minutes after the, usually late, departure. The exam begun at 9 and ended at 14 o'clock. Completely broken in spirit I let the cats out and sat on my stairs in my boxers in 14 degrees Celsius for a cigarette I can't afford.

After a few calls I was promised to be able to take the exam, but with no extended time.
The bus closest to me would leave me less than half an hour to complete the exam, which I knew would consist of manipulating 10 pictures taken the day before somehow, which isn't nearly enough.
I thought about stealing my dads car since he was out of town and would never have caught me, but I don't have a license, and getting pulled over for some reason would kill all my chances at passing.
So I stole his bike instead and practically flew to the bus central to take another, faster, bus, which would leave me about an hour for the exam. Still not enough time to do a proper job. Still, it would have to do.
During this lung collapsing bike ride there were no Power of Love. There was no skateboarding whilst holding on to a car, no "Doc. I'm late for school!" Huey Lewis offered no help. To top it off I had strong headwind the entire way. Even when I was going in the opposite direction from earlier.

Now this bus driver was a nice guy. So he waited around in case someone was late, and he did not drive fast, and he was happy to small talk with anyone. Including some preschoolers who never stopped either crying or laughing. My iPod was left at home in the hurry. Then we changed driver to another guy just like him...

Finally I arrived at the school and could take a look at the assignment. Prepare your images for an exhibition, the frames are 30cm x 40cm. As some of you know this usually means 30cm width, 40cm height, which is how you take a portrait. Sadly, all but two of my pictures were taken like landscapes. None of the exam guys watching over us could tell me if it was possible to deliver 40cm x 30cm, so I was stuck trying to, successfully, crop 8-9 pictures into painfully unfitting dimensions, and Photoshop them all to look acceptable.

Unlike the other students who had 5 hours to complete the task, I had 54 minutes.

On the way home there were preschoolers on the bus the entire time and shortly before I got off the bus it started raining and the wind picked up even more.

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