The Meaning of Life

Are you happier now
that the gods are dying?
Great lyrics from a great song by the great band Franz Ferdinand.
It got me thinking about happiness in general. The price we pay for it, the importance of it, and how to get it.

X marks the good life.

Now I have my mental problems and my temporary cures, and most of my friends are similar, but it took 19-20 years for me to begin actively seeking this pleasure people often take for granted. You might think being yourself is the key to lasting smiles, but that may not always be true. I know who I am, and I’m mostly a loner, I’m quiet, I’m analytical and thinking, I’m a bit nuts in the holy-shit-I’m-going-to-die-some-day-that’s-hilarious kind of way, I’m angry, I loathe the dimwitted, I love metal and things that display utter insanity in a way I find fitting, I’m judgemental, I’m slightly racist, I’m as two-faced as I have to be to observe everyone or remain in favour with those around me, and I’m intelligent. I am mostly a good guy and I have my morals though.
To be honest none of those things really make me happy.

"I smile only to torment you. Inside I'm crying."

Until a year back I was sure the meaning of life was to be, to observe, to learn and experience, and that sounds ideological and naïve. For some time I became sure there was absolutely no meaning, and to look for one meant admitting a higher power. Now I think: Of course life has a meaning, or else I wouldn’t bother, and it’s to be happy and enjoy while you still can.

I’m getting closer and closer to my own personal happy recipe. I need sleep, not always easy. I need to avoid the news and most politics, very doable, but not to an extreme degree. I need to enjoy the moment, which I’m good at, and most important of all: I must at all cost maintain my screw it/them mentality. Not caring is essential to happiness.

A swim is fine too.

I'm also expanding my horizon when it comes to entertainment. Instead of dissecting everything placed in front of me I just shut up for a few minutes and see what happens. Most of the time when I just stop thinking so much I can enjoy things. This has opened me up to the Blood album by Franz Ferdinand, Pendulum, Julien K, possibly Skrillex and other things I would simply scoff at as I turned up the volume on Tools Aenema.

On my road to happiness, this is like a tree in Pokémon.

Does this mean I've outgrown metal, brains and hate? Absolutely not! This just means I'll dose my hatred a little more carefully, taking my well being in consideration first.